Never Nothing

I’m struggling.

It seems like everything that I do is for nothing.

Let me explain,

I try so hard to do good in this world.

To go against the grain of society.

To love others as Christ does.

To pursue God in my daily moments.

To trust Him.

To serve Him.

To use the gifts, time, and abilities He’s given me to expand the Kingdom.

To steward the positions He’s given me at work and at home well.

To have a positive attitude and to think on goodness.

And Time. After. Time.

I fail.

At least by my own standards.

And I find myself looking in the mirror at this person named Jasmine, fighting a gnawing emptiness in my soul.

Don’t get me wrong,

The Lord has brought me through, blessed me, given me joy, and made me new.

But the war I am in isn’t over yet.

And I wonder if it all matters in the end.

Have you ever felt this way?

At the end of the day, when I’m wrestling with this “all for nothing” attitude, I remember:

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

Jesus would not have died for a life that was all for nothing.

And in the midst of the struggle, this can be our comfort:

Jesus thought we were worth dying for.

And we can live for Him.

Until Another Moment,

Jasmine